God always opens a door when you least expect it. Beginning on July 7th, 2014, I will walk through another door that GOD has opened for me. Do I really want to go back to work? Hmmmm…. It’s a question that I ask myself everyday, along with other questions such as, “Why has this door opened again this time? Why is the door always opened when I am not searching for a job? Why now? Is it worth going back to work with all the expenses for childcare, after school care, gas, clothes, etc.?” Naturally, I do not have any answers other than the assurance that there is something on the other side of the door and I must walk through it.
Since the layoff in 2012, I have enjoyed being a SAHM. I love being available for my family. I have heard friends in my son’s class say they wish their parents could have lunch with them or come to the parties at school. This breaks my heart but the reality is that parents must work in order to provide for their families. Additionally, the reason I like being a SAHM is that I have flexibility when the kids are sick or when I need to take them to their many appointments. Last but definitely not least, it just cost less to stay at home with 5 children.
Nevertheless, the door of opportunity has opened and it is time to walk through it. It’s not like this is the first time that this door has been opened. In 2003, I became a SAHM by accident due to a lay off at my job as a Business Analyst. I stayed at home with the first 3 children until 2009 when the door of opportunity opened to return to work. However, at that time, it was not as hard to return to the workforce. Why? I am not sure. But this time around, I am struggling with the decision. I am happy but not happy. I am excited but not excited. However, I am grateful because there are many people who are looking for jobs and are unsuccessful in their search.
We all have doors that we must walk through at some time in our lives. We either choose to walk begrudgingly or with grateful hearts. I am choosing to walk through with a grateful heart. Although I cannot understand the reasons why the door has been opened, it has and I must walk through it. What doors have you walked through in your life that caused you to ask the question, “WHY?”