What am I doing?

For the past couple of years, I have been asking the question, “What is my purpose?” “What am I supposed to do with my life?”  I was having a conversation with a friend of mine at work the other day and we were talking about determining our purpose.  She was sharing that she thought by the age of 30, she would have completed certain goals.  But, here she is on the other side of 30 and those goals had not been reached.  I explained to her that I have been feeling the exact same way.  True, my purpose of being a wife and a mother is being fulfilled. However, deep inside, I know there is so much more.

I am not sure what is really my purpose?  In my mind, my purpose is something that I can do with little effort.  Yes, I have to work at it but it will come with little effort.  It is something that if I were not paid to do it, I will still do it because I enjoy it so much.  My purpose is something deep inside that should drive me to take it to another level. With that being my understanding, I have yet to determine what my purpose is in my life.  Here I am at the age of 44 and I do not know what I am supposed to do with my life.   We all have gifts and talents but are we walking in our purpose?

Each day I ask myself that question.  My husband says that I am scattered because I go from one thing to another.  Yes, that is so true because I am trying to find what it is that I am supposed to do.  Is going from one thing to the next when it does not work the way I think it should work, a good idea?  Probably not! But, in my mind, that is the only way that I will know what is that I want to do.   Even my son keeps asking me almost weekly, “Mom, what is that you want to do?”  Every week, I have the same response, “I don’t know!”  Isn’t that horrible?  At my age, I should already know what my purpose is for my life.  But, the truth of the matter is that I do not.  I pray daily for an answer because I am tired of feeling like I am wasting my life away.  I just believe there is so much more in store for me.  I just wish I knew what “that” is for my life.

I wonder how many people the same way.  What is your purpose or do you know?