It has been quite awhile since I posted anything on my blog. I wish I had some funny excuses but in all sincerity after taking the new job opportunity, I have been unable to adjust. Returning to work has been a great experience on one hand; however, on the other hand, I feel totally out of touch with reality. As a former SAHM, I was actively involved in the lives of my children. I would go on field trips, meet with the teachers after school when I picked up my daughter, have lunch with my son and complete homework with them when they came home. NOW…that’s not even in the cards. There are days when I feel like a bad mommy and the guilt feeling overtakes me. Yes, my husband is at home to pick up the pieces, drop off the children to school, cook dinner and keep the youngest child at home to help save daycare costs, but it is still not the same. On top of keeping up with schoolwork, three of the 5 children were involved in soccer this year, which meant two practices a week and 3 to 4 games on Saturday and possibly one on Sundays. Oh, let’s not forget that I am a Leading Lady of a church.
In addition, returning to work has caused my house to go lacking. It was depressing to come home to a house that looked like nobody cared. Don’t get me wrong, the house was not dirty dirty, but it was definitely not the way I like to keep my home. So, during my week long Thanksgiving vacation, I cleaned my house. Now, the house is where I need it to be whenever I come home and I am no longer feeling overwhelmed or depressed when I walk through the doors. The challenge is keeping it this way until my Christmas break. This definitely was not the way that I wanted to spend my break. But, it needed to happen.
Needless to say, going back to work has not been easy but the door was opened and I had to step through it. I am taking it day by day, moment by moment. Do I want to come home and become a SAHM? YES! YES! YES! I love being at home! But for now, this is my season to work.
I am going to make the adjustment. It is just taking longer than I expected. At the end of the day, I am going to keep pressing and remind myself that even though I am busy and tired, I am BLESSED!